My Montage 3/18/11 at OneTrueMedia.com

phobe belle the first few days... born 3-11-11 6 pounds 15 ounces 19 1/2 inches.

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Wheezy...

Kinda funny that Chris and I were already calling Phoebe "Wheezy" before she was born. Mainly because we liked the name Louise but didn't like the nickname "Wheezy". Of course now... That's her nickname (at least for now.) We are still thinking of middle names for her. Here's what we have so far...

Phoebe Belle (after my grandmother)

Phoebe Fox (Chris' dad's nickname)

Phoebe Hanes (Chris' dad's middle name)

Phoebe Louise (because we like calling her Wheezy)

I guess we better come up with a name soon!

If you read my last post you might of noticed I wasn't (and still am not) happy with the way they are handling things here. They just aren't set up or trained for a baby with special care needs. I know how important it is for her to be touched and held by her mother. They don't even have a rocking chair in their nursery. The cords are so short I can barely hold her on my lap. They are definitely too short for me to hold her on my shoulder. The nursing staff seems put out by the fact that we are even there.

So to sum it up....

We are going to talk to the neonatologist and pediatrician tomorrow about her condition. If they think she is going to require special care for a few more days then we are going to have her transferred to a hospital that knows how to deal with these types of situations.

Chris and Courtney just went in to the nursery to see the baby and once again the staff was put out. They said that they prefer a "hands off mode" for babies.

Ugh. For all of you NICU mom's that read my blog you know what B.S. this is.

Idiots.

baby...

Of course, I’m crying. Yes, I’m emotional. But… I am also mad and frustrated. Phoebe was born 3-11-11 at 1:23 pm via scheduled c section. All was going fine and as planned. I went in to the operating room and met the anesthesiologist. He was running late and his cell phone kept ringing. Slot machine ringtone. I was annoyed. I didn’t get a good vibe. I asked him about the chance of the anesthesia not working. Was there a back up plan? He looked at me like I was crazy.

Surgery started and they discovered that Phoebe was higher than they expected. They had to grab and push her from up higher than expected. I started to scream. The anesthesia only worked from the incision down. Everything above that I could feel. No numbness. Just excruciating pain. I screamed while they pulled the baby out. The doctors stopped operating and told the anesthesiologist to get me some knock out pain med. Too little too late. While I was screaming they brought the baby over to me so I could touch her tiny foot. Phoebe looked and sounded great. She weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces and is 19 ½ inches long with strawberry blonde fuzz.

Then it went black.

I looked forward to having a normal birth. I wanted to hold her naked baby body against my chest. I wanted to breast fed. I wanted to give her kisses. But, no. I passed out and she got wheeled off to “special care.” They don’t have a NICU here. They talked about moving her to another hospital but luckily she was able to stay here. She was born with amniotic fluid in her lungs. Usually this gets pushed out during delivery. She was having trouble breathing so she had to be put on a cpap machine. She is still on it today and will be for the next day or two.

Once again, my baby is in someone else’s care. I couldn’t see her or touch her.

The next day (today) I got to see her. I still can’t hold her or feed her. I did start pumping breast milk today that will be fed to her by feeding tube. I think things would be different if we were at Mercy. These nurses act like we are a nuisance when we want to visit.

I feel like she’s not mine. The nursery staff is awful. I am going up there at 4pm today to hold her for the first time. I have my emotions in check now. Just let me hold my beautiful Phoebe Fox.

I plan on having Chris take a lot of pictures tonight when I get to hold my new Lil' Girl.

Just a guess...

Ok, so I guess that wasn't my last pregnancy post. Here's another.

I forgot to make my pregnancy predictions.

Here they are.

7 pounds 1 ounce.

20" long.

10 fingers 10 toes.

Bald like Lillie.

Cute as a bug, but funny lookin' as all new babies are.

Born at 3-11-11 at 1:32 pm (Lillie was born at 1:32 am.)

Here's a picture of Lillie at 1 day old so I have something to compare to tomorrow.

p.s. I plan on posting from the hospital.

Everybody is getting ready...

I had my last appointment on Monday. All was well. Baby has dropped, which is exciting but doesn't really matter.
Blood pressure was fine. Doesn't really matter.
Talked about game day.
It is on for Friday at 1pm.
Getting nervous.
Scared.
Can't sleep.
Baby kicks and hiccups all night.
Can't eat.
Reflux all night.
Sad that this will probably be the last time I am ever pregnant.
I took my last belly pictures.
Maybe ever.
Since I know the day and time of her big arrival I am a bit too organized.
I have a list of things to do, pack, and buy. I just about have all the things done. We knocked a few things off the list today. Lillie and I got our nails done, I got my eyebrows waxed, and Tucker got groomed. Chris sister and Mom went and bought our sit and stand stroller and car seat. Lillie has her clothes laid out for Friday and bags packed for Nanny's house. The cleaning lady is coming Thursday to dust and do the floors.
Whew! I'm tired just thinking about what I still have to do and what I have already done.

My last belly pictures at 37 weeks.
That belly button is ready to go back to being an innie.

Lillie has been loving on Lil' Dude a lot! Lots of kisses and hugs to my belly. She has also been reading "Big Sister" every night before bed. She's ready!
We went and got our nails done.
She met a friend that had her nails painted pink and green so Lillie got the same.
And Tucker had to get ready too! He is staying at Aunt Gum's house. He wanted to have a short "do" for Lil' Dude's arrival.

That's it. We are ready. Of course... You can never be ready. But we are as ready as we can get.

The next post just might contain pictures of a new baby!

Oh, and we picked out a name.....

We will post it with her photos!

one more week!

Well the good news is that baby is doing great!
I went in for a non stress test on Wednesday since my blood pressure was up on Monday. For whatever reason it was 135/100. My normal is 100/60. Since I had some serious issues with the last pregnancy my doctor has been watching me very closely. She didn't like my number spiking like that. With rest, my blood pressure seems to be back down to normal. Go figure. The only problem is... I can't rest.
I know I only have one more week but I am so extremely uncomfortable I can't stand it.
I can't sleep.
Can't eat (much) thanks to the indigestion. I get it from just drinking water!
My back is killing me.
I can't get comfortable at night.
Lil' Dude is moving nonstop. I feel like she is trying to break out of here.
I can't breathe.
I know it wasn't this hard with Lillie. Of course we had other MAJOR issues.
And Draven's pregnancy was so long ago I forgot!
Anyway... My point is.
I'm ready.
One week is soon, but not soon enough!

35 weeks (or is it 36?)....

I can't keep track. Do I go by doctor's measurements or stick with the date I've had in my had for the past 9 months. Either way I am definitely 36 weeks tomorrow...

So here's all the excitement!

I went to labor and delivery for the first time on Thursday. I don't want to go in to too much details but I had signs that labor was starting.

I am having contractions but they are irregular and unproductive.

My back hurts.

I have the worst heartburn of my life!

I am nauseated and don't want to eat.

Nothing sounds good.

I'm just feeling tired. Run down. Kinda over it all...

I'm not ready to have the baby yet, but I am ready to not be pregnant.

This will be the slowest 2 weeks of my life.

Lil' Dude will be here in 13 days or less!!!!!